Being a mom is great, right? At some point though, motherhood crept in and took over some of the adult portions of your brain when you weren’t looking. Here are some signs that this year, your New Year’s resolution might need to be a little more adult time.
1. When a friend asks for a book recommendation you have to rack your brain.
When someone asks for children’s book recommendations you have a list of at least 15 absolute favorites they just HAVE to read.
2. At this moment, you are wearing your third favorite pair of yoga pants.
The other two started to get a funk, and the idea of adding your laundry heap to your To Do list is just too much.
3. Your purse is like Mary Poppins’ carpet bag…on crack.
A peek inside reveals at least 3 of the following items: crayons, a toy car, an extra diaper, a bib, a binkie or lovie, a snack, crumbs from a snack long enough ago that you should be ashamed (but you’re not), antibacterial wipes/gel, a sippy cup, a crumpled receipt from a checkout that just needed to be OVER, a phone with tiny fingerprints on it, a book with less than 25 words, a changing pad, an expired coupon for something you’ve bought recently but were too distracted to remember to actually use the coupon, and a wallet filled with upside down and backwards cards thanks to 250,235 games of “empty mommy’s wallet one card at a time”.
4. Your tongue has a mind of its own.
The last time you got in a fight with your husband, out popped “Use your words!” Did that go as badly for you as it did for me?
5. You find yourself signing “more” as you answer if you would like a refill.
6. You’ve off-handedly mentioned poop, pee, vomit, or other bodily fluids in public and didn’t think twice.
Actually, you didn’t just mention them, you discussed them. In depth. With adjectives.
7. You’ve started looking at the smudges on your windows as memories being made, perhaps subconsciously to make you feel better about why they still aren’t cleaned off.
8. Your sense of style gave up on “trendy” long ago.
You have wet hair in a messy bun, an outfit that only kind of matches (maybe if you pretend you’re being “eclectic” you can pull it off), and you’re juggling at least 3 bags every time you get in or out of the car. Meanwhile, your child looks like a Baby GAP model.
9. You’ve caught yourself (more than once) excitedly pointing out a train or plane to an empty car seat.
10. You have dried snot on the sleeve of at least 3 of your shirts.
And you may or may not have hung one back up and pretended it was clean.