It can’t be. I’m in total denial.
My oldest child, Connor, is getting ready to start his senior year of high school.
What?! How did this happen? Wasn’t I just in high school a few years ago? (Um, make that a few decades ago!) Obviously, this milestone didn’t just sneak up on me. I knew it was coming but now that it’s here, I’m going to admit that I’m not ready! He’s ready, which is the important part. But having to circle the “12” on the enrollment form just doesn’t seem right. Writing the word “senior” next to your baby’s name isn’t something you can prepare for. Knowing that this school year is going to filled with “last times” ties my stomach in knots.
I remember the first time I held him, and his first day of preschool. In fact, I remember almost ALL of his firsts. Now, his first day of his last school year is quickly approaching. His next “first day of school” will be without me at whatever college he chooses to go to.
For all of you moms that have been through this many times, us “newbies” need your steady guidance and shoulder to cry on. I have 4 kids, so I have to repeat this process for many years to come. Does it get easier with each child? Is it different depending on the child’s personality? Birth order? Or does it NEVER GET ANY EASIER?!!!
I know I’m not the ONLY mom who’s ever graduated her oldest child from high school. I mean, this milestone happens every year! But, it feels completely foreign and a bit like an “out of body” experience. So here is what I’ve decided to do to get me through this.
Enjoy every minute.
I’m going to try to find the joy in circling the “12”, writing the “senior”, and helping him with college applications. I’m going to be “in the moment” as much as a I can. There will be times when I don’t want to even think about his Senior year, but I’m going to encourage myself to enjoy it to the fullest. I’m going to find the joy in the fact that I’ve raised a kind, smart, funny, caring, talented human being. I’m going to allow myself the sadness, tears and lumps in my throat that will come at various times throughout this year.
And I’m going to hug him – more than he wants me to! Basically, I’m going to do what I’ve done with him these past 17 years – what moms do everyday….
ENJOY EVERY MINUTE I HAVE WITH HIM!