Every journey to motherhood is unique, each so compelling. Some of us have more difficult paths to navigate before reaching our final destination, while others follow the straight and narrow, hitting bumps further on down the road. For all of us, however, motherhood is a roller coaster that brings inexplicable joy and unavoidable pain, making us feel as if our hearts might leap right through our chests. To celebrate all of motherhood, we at Wichita Moms Blog are sharing our personal journeys.
I love my kid and and being a mom way more than I ever imagined.
That may sound odd, but while I figured I would likely have children, it wasn’t something I often thought about. I was career focused and if ever given the chance to spend time with kids or senior citizens, I’d opt for the older group!
So after a couple years of marriage, my husband and I decided, okay let’s see what happens. I was already in my 30’s and he is eight years older. So if we were going to have kids, we figured we should get started, because who knows how long it would take or if it would happen.
Then I got pregnant instantly, like first try, and I didn’t know it until I was eight weeks along. We found out the day before a trip to Spain and were in complete shock. The trip was rough, I was sick, could barely eat and just wanted to sleep.
If that wasn’t enough, shortly after we got home, I knew something was wrong. Around 10 weeks I started lightly spotting. The doctors told me the baby had stopped growing several weeks earlier. They said I could wait a little longer to see if my body took care of things naturally. My other option was to schedule a D&C, which is ultimately what I opted for.
My miscarriage rocked my world. It’s something you never think about, and you especially don’t think about it happening to you. But I quickly learned I wasn’t alone. Friends and relatives came out of the woodwork talking about their experiences. It’s way too common, and until you experience the loss, it’s hard to fathom how you feel about losing what could have been.
After my procedure, I cried and felt sorry for myself and the loss of my baby. Why did this happen, could I have done anything to stop it? But at the same time, it made me realize that, yes I really did want babies and I wasn’t going to give up.
I became obsessed with getting pregnant again.
I’m extremely fortunate because I got pregnant again shortly after my miscarriage. Like most women who’ve experience the same thing, I was a nervous wreck. It didn’t help that I’ve been deemed a ‘bleeder’ and spotted constantly through my first trimester. Also I hated when people would say the worse your symptoms are, the stronger the pregnancy because I didn’t have symptoms. Yes, I know that’s lucky too, but at the time I wished for morning sickness!!
Fast forward nine months and I gave birth to a beautiful little baby boy. He’s improved the life of my husband and I more than we ever could have imagined. My husband wasn’t sure about kids, so he’s even more awe struck by how much he adores our Nico. Kids are constant entertainment and just so stinkin cute!!!
And one day after I was out of town for a few days leaving the boys home alone, my husband told me we needed to have a second baby. He wanted Nico to have a playmate. Imagine that, the man who wasn’t sure about babies asking for more! We feel so lucky to be expecting our second child this summer. Aside from more spotting and some morning sickness, it’s been smooth sailing so far. I now appreciate how precious the birth process is and feel so lucky to be a mom.
My heart goes out to the women struggling with something I once took for granted.
[box style=”rounded” border=”full”]This post is part of our Journey to Motherhood Mother’s Day Series. Read more posts from this series…[/box]
Ugh. I’m a “bleeder”, too! It’s so nerve-wracking!!! So excited for you to have baby #2 and for Nico to have a little buddy. My two are BFFs and are joined at the hip!
Thanks Erin! I’m excited too, but a little freaked out too! I may need advice on dealing with 2!
Hey Erin. I had a miscarriage in between my first and third pregnancies. Totally sucks. I can identify with the struggle and the longing.
Thank you so much for sharing, Kim. So many women have stories of struggle with pregnancy and it’s heart-warming to see a woman be brave and share her story like you’re doing. I think it really helps us realize we’re not alone.
Thank you, I do appreciate your kind words!
Thank you for sharing your story! My first pregnancy was a huge surprise and ended in a miscarriage around 10 weeks. I thought there was something wrong with me, or something I did or didn’t do. When I heard similar stories from so many women, I realized it wasn’t me and miscarriages are common. It doesn’t make it any easier, but at the same time, I had closure knowing it was just meant to be this way. After the miscarriage, my husband and I decided we were ready to actually start trying and now we have 2 healthy boys, a 23 month old and a 2 month old!
Jennifer, thank you for your message! I’m so glad to hear you have two little guys, they are the best!