Woes of an Active Toddler’s Mom

My toddler is a monster (said with love and affection, of course!).

He will not sit for more than fifteen minutes. He climbs anything and everything; previous falls are more of a dare-you-to-try-again than a deterrent. Destruction is his game, whether while playing with blocks or entering a room I just cleaned. I cannot leave him unattended for more than a moment; in those cases, quiet is not a good thing. A couple weeks ago, he learned a new expression.

Can you please stop climbing on the counter?
“No way.”

It’s time to take a bath.
“No way.”

Do you love mommy?
“No way.”

Seriously. This is the stuff monsters are made of.

We recently went to a friend’s home for dinner – a friend with a toddler just a couple weeks older than mine. “Bring your son; they can play. It’ll be fun!”

Famous last words.

We arrived and my son explored this new territory. There was quiet play for just a moment, and then we heard it:he sound of toys hitting the kitchen floor. Every single magnet (all 26 letters plus some fun animal shapes) was now strewn on the floor. My monster walked away with a look of success: this area has been conquered. On to the toy basket where his friend was playing, having taken one car out of the basket already. My monster looked at the basket’s contents, dumped those out, and proceeded to walk around the room with the basket over his head, giggling up a storm.

The entire evening went on like that. Oh, who am I kidding? It wasn’t an entire evening because we left within two hours of arriving.

What was I thinking bringing my monster to someone’s house?

It was a night of apologies. “I’m sorry he’s climbing all over the dining room table and pulling on your tablecloth as if he is a magician-in-training. I am sorry he threw the magnets and one of them somehow slid under the fridge so now you will never be able to spell any G words. I am so sorry that we have hardly had a chance to enjoy adult conversation because I am so focused on catch-and-release as my monster seeks complete destruction of your home.”

Any then my friend stopped me and in just a few words, relieves my mama heart:

“Oursboys are just different. Yours is 100% active boy; mine is more passive. Don’t apologize. Yours is showing mine how to imagine and how to play. That basket has never been the hat of someone in a marching parade.”
What? She thinks this creation of big messes is imaginative play?

“Yours is so strong. Mine can’t even get on the table because he can’t pull himself up like yours can.”
What? She’s envious of my kid’s ability to climb?

“Yours might not talk like mine, but – boy oh boy – when he decides to talk, he’s going to have a lot to say. Listen to all his purposeful babble. He’s talking; we’re just not smart enough to understand him.”
Oh, I guess he does babble a lot. I never really thought of it as purposeful.

I spent the evening comparing mine to hers and seeing how mine fell short in comparison. She spent the evening watching mine and seeing the gifts of his actions and the joy of being an explorative toddler.

What I learned that night is that kids can be different, can do things differently, can react differently, can speak differently…and that’s OK. I learned that perspective matters.

My monster is mine and I love him dearly.

Would I trade this personality, adeptness, and energy of his?

In his words, “No way.”

 


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Maricar Harris
Maricar (pronounced “Merrah Car”) is moved to Wichita in July 2014 from Virginia Beach. She married her college sweetheart, Chris, in 1996. Together, they have four kids: Will, Addison, Bekah, and Victor. Maricar and Chris are originally from Augusta, Georgia (the “Home of the Masters”, for any avid golfers out there) and have moved quite a bit while Chris completed residency/fellowship (and an eight year US Navy commitment). Here in Wichita, they are now planting some roots. Maricar is a chemistry teacher at Wichita Collegiate, who spends a lot of time cheering for her Spartans at sporting events. She enjoys a good inspirational book, a freshly brewed cup of coffee, scrapbooking, and dinner date nights. Eating out and going to movies tops the list of things the Harris family likes to do. Having a newborn at 42 has been life changing, but she recognizes the greatness of this blessing and is looking forward to this chapter of life.

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