Friends, I don’t know about you, but we (read: our 3 year old) truly struggle with mornings.
We often feel like this:
For a long time, I really thought that it was a matter of when and how our girl woke up. You know, does she wake up on her own? Do we wake her up at the last moment before we leave? Do we give her time and slowly herd her towards the door? We have tried every method, every technique.
I hate mornings when there are tears before breakfast, so we are trying a new approach. Are you ready? It’s pretty much mind-blowing and life-changing. I have had a realization:
The words “hurry up” have ABSOLUTELY no effect on my 3 year old.
In fact, in most cases the words “hurry up” and “Momma’s late” seem to put her into slow motion. Really, it makes sense. She still doesn’t have a great sense of time at all. For example, this morning on the way to school, she apologized for “being so angry last year.” I laughed out loud, and she proceeded to tell me to stop laughing because it wasn’t funny.
We are now resolved to not put our lateness, our rush, our stress on our girl. She doesn’t know we are late. She doesn’t really know what it means to be late. Telling her, “Hurry up big girl, we are late!,” in my stressed out voice simply stresses her out and fuels morning drama.
We have been testing this new theory for about a week now, and I tell you, it really seems to be going pretty well. I feel like our routine is finally falling into place. All the other things that we were doing, like picking clothes the night before and how we woke her up didn’t seem to matter quite as much as our attitude in the morning.
Shocking right? How many hundreds of times have I mentioned to my students that attitude is everything? About a million. And I forget to apply it to my own life. Oops.
In light of my revelation, here are my top 5 tips to prevent morning drama. And little side note: most of them have nothing to do with your kiddo…
- Demonstrate the behaviors you want to see from your kiddo. Your child takes their cues from you on how to behave. So if you are freaking out, your mini-me will likely begin freaking out, too.
- Do what you can the night before. If you need to make a lunch – do it. If you need to put the stroller in the car – do it. Every little step eliminated from the morning rush will make you feel less stressed and ready to face your day tear-free.
- Establish a routine. Routines are not one of my personal strengths, and it drives my hubby crazy. He has done the exact same thing every morning for the entire 9 years of our marriage! Most kiddos thrive on routines and knowing what to expect. Even when you are in a hurry (every morning), you can stick to the routine – the children will be able to “hurry” a little faster if they know what’s coming next.
- Remember: Your kiddo doesn’t understand what “late” really means. Asking your kids to “hurry, because we are late” does not help them hurry. In our case, “hurry up” just causes a panic! Reserve the words hurry up for true emergency situations.
- Re-think: Why you are late? Are you late because you hit snooze one too many times or you forgot to throw your gym clothes in your bag last night? Is it really your child that is slowing you down? Or are you blaming your lateness on your innocent kiddo? Because honestly, 90% of the time lateness is my fault not hers.
So there you have it. Morning hustle and bustle problem solved (I hope) with no schemes and no bribing – just a change of heart and a little honesty.
