I Make Motherhood Look Hard (That’s What She Said)

On more than one occasion, I have been told I make aspects of motherhood look hard.  Well, there goes my secret!  As a new mom, I certainly do not want anyone to watch me struggle.  I strive to be the kind of mother who has it all together and comes off as a natural.  The truth is, though, I have never worked harder at anything in my entire life.  I make motherhood look hard because it is.TomiElla2

Those keen observers are absolutely right. Case in point: at a recent Wichita Moms Blog playdate, my daughter affixed herself to her father and appeared to be absolutely repulsed by me, her mother. So, instead of spending the event dotingly dipping caramel apples together, I was pleading to just let me hold her. And, then there was the debacle of taking a picture to commemorate our heartwarming time together where she acted as if she was being held by The Boogeyman’s mom. While I was mortified, we did manage to entertain a few onlookers. I can only hope this adds to my legitimacy as a contributor for this blog.

TomiElla3

Let’s see, what else? Oh yes, there was the time I rushed her to the
emergency room during a snow storm only to be dismissed in record time with a diagnosis of heat rash/first-time mom syndrome. My concern is unrelenting as a mother. Most of time I have no idea what I am even supposed to be treating- is it a cold, an ear infection, teething, my imagination?

It’s easy to laugh at these experiences now, but in the heat of the moment I beat myself up over things that are out of my control or simply not what I anticipated. Sometimes the hardest part about being a mother is the way I treat myself. I know I have been fortunate not to encounter many of the obstacles that truly make being a mother hard; the crippling moments you can’t just laugh at or forget about the next day.

So, here’s what I have decided: being a mom is hard and that is okay. (Adele agrees with me, too) It is also fun, exciting, overwhelming, messy, revitalizing, painful, and the best thing in the whole entire world.  Hard does not mean dreadful.  Be kind yourself and to each other.  If you see a mama having a hard day, let them know you can relate. Witnessing a fellow mother’s resilience can be so inspiring and motivating when you feel like you are always learning things the hard way.

They say nothing worth having comes easily. These words ring true with motherhood. Don’t fret if you make look hard (that’s what I said), it only means you are trying!

TomiElla4

 

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