My 3-year-old has never been what you would call a social butterfly. While Wyatt is sweet, caring, and intelligent, I often find myself becoming frustrated with his cautious ways. My husband and I joke that we are raising a 45-year-old man in a 3-year-old’s body. At Chick-Fil-A, I watch other kids happily flying down the play-place slide, but I know that no amount of coaxing will convince Wyatt to go down that slide because it is (in his words) “super speedy”. It looks like a normal slide to me, not one that is excessively speedy, but I know he won’t go down that slide until he is good and ready.
His slow-to-warm temperament was evident even as a baby. While some babies enjoy being passed around to family members at holidays, Wyatt preferred to stick close to mom and dad. During the play group we attended, he wanted to stay by my side. Trying new foods, playing in the church nursery and meeting the Easter Bunny were battles, but I persisted. Unsure of how to respond to his temperament, I would push him into new situations, and both of us would end up in tears.
When Wyatt was 13 months old, I contacted Rainbows United and was connected with a speech-language pathologist from Bright Beginnings of Butler County. Although my son seemed to be right on track with his motor skills, I had concerns about speech development. Making this connection proved to be life-changing for our family. Working with the speech-language pathologist in our home where my son was most comfortable, we were able to identify several approaches for improving his language skills. One unexpected outcome was an improvement in Wyatt’s behavior as the therapist helped me to understand more about his temperament and ways to help him feel secure. Instead of forcing him to jump into new experiences without warning, I learned to prepare him by discussing beforehand what we would be doing. Suggestions such as avoiding labels, respecting his needs, giving plenty of time for transitions, and providing opportunities for social interaction made a world of difference in the relationship I had with my son and the relationships he had with others.
We are nearly three years past that initial visit with the speech-language pathologist from Rainbows. Once I began making the effort to understand my child’s personality and implementing strategies to anticipate and respond to his behavior, things improved dramatically. I couldn’t be prouder of the bright and cheerful preschooler he is today. Yes, there are times when I want to “bubble wrap” him and protect him from all the super speedy slides out there; instead, I encourage him to make his own mistakes (within reason) and I try not to hover. I may not have a little daredevil (something I will likely be thankful for when he is a teenager!), but I want my son to know I love and respect all the wonderful, unique parts of his personality.
What are some ways you embrace your child’s unique personality?
cautious child
