Dealing With “Mom Fear”

Have you ever wondered if you were going to mess up your child for life? Okay, maybe not “mess them up for life”, but have you wondered if your parenting was going to help your children find their way in the world? To be honest, that’s one of my biggest fears in life right now – that for whatever reason, there’s something I may not know, or something I will forget to tell my daughter – that my failure will keep her from finding the right path.

Alright, still a little extreme. However, with every “parenting” article I see as I scroll across my Facebook newsfeed, it makes me wonder. There are so many new perspectives and studies, it’s quite difficult to cram them all into our memories and put them to good use when a difficult moment arises.

When was the last time an article like “5 Steps to Raising Strong Children” came to mind after a long day of work and two screaming toddlers?

It’s in these moments, when life has me exhausted, and it’s harder than usual to see the good in bad situations, that I question my mom skills. I worry about letting my four-year-old play on the tablet too long, just so I can find enough peace to finish writing a book. Or maybe she’ll develop bad food habits after eating pizza two nights in a row, because I worked extremely late and cooking would have taken too long.

It can be difficult to balance life against the ideas of the perfect parents we strive to be.

Looking back on my childhood, there are some things I swore I would never do as a parent. Yet, somehow, pieces of my own parents still manage to spill out of me in spite of the promise I made to myself. However, I can’t remember a time in my life growing up that I didn’t feel loved. There isn’t one portion of my life where I could say my mother didn’t care about me or that she didn’t strive to give me her best.

Of course she wasn’t perfect, but I can only hope to leave the same impression on my daughter; the feelings of being loved and cared for above all else.

My mother always used to say that my brothers and I weren’t born with manuals on how to make the perfect “us”. I never understood what she meant until I grew older and became a mother myself. Momming is hard work, and once you add the challenges and responsibilities of life, things only become more complex. This is why it’s important we remember to surround ourselves with positive people and take life one day at a time.

A support team of the right people can help keep us from falling down the rabbit hole of darkness. If you’re not sure where to look for support, start with your close family and friends.

There are also Wichita Moms Blog groups within your neighborhoods, if you haven’t joined one yet, you can do so here.

These groups are full of supportive and knowledgeable parents that any fellow mom would love to have in her corner.

Just remember, that nothing in life was meant to perfect, not even parenting. Sometimes the perception we have of ourselves are completely inaccurate. For those days that you just can’t seem to rid yourself of mom guilt, there are two things to remember: keep your support team close, and a bottle of wine even closer.

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