They say a picture is worth a thousand words — a snapshot of a moment in time. It can keep our feelings of nostalgia by giving us the “warm fuzzies” and touching our hearts. Memories are some of the sweetest treasures we possess in my opinion. With the holidays upon us, those memories seem more poignant: sweet memories of Grandma in the kitchen, getting together with my cousins and extended family, and just being there together.
The part that gets me though: when that very special memory is reignited, I think, “Why has this been buried in my brain so long? Why have I not thought about this memory in quite some time? Is my memory getting bad?” These sweet memories are buried deep in our brains, in the limbic system, a primitive part of the brain where emotions and memory are integrated. I emphasize buried here because, truth be told, I’ve struggled a lot lately with my memory. This is how I’m feeling lately, as if I’m trying to recover past events, digging for them relentlessly, as well as all the current to-dos.
A couple months ago I was talking to an older friend of mine, who is about retirement age. In our conversation, he mentioned how his wife loves to do crosswords, sudoku, and such games. She does so to keep her memory strong. She had told him that’s one of her biggest fears and struggles, a declining memory. This struck me big time. I am beginning to fear this now, and I’m only in my 30s.
In the same weekend, I had met up with my cousin who is my age. We grew up very close, graduating the same year. In our conversation, he brought up a memory he had from elementary school: “I remember when your mom would make hair bows for me to give the girls I liked at school.” Obviously a memory that had stuck with him. I completely lost it. What a beautiful memory for me as well, and I hadn’t thought about that in many years. You see, my mom passed away unexpectedly only about seven years ago, so this memory hit me hard. This was one sweet little memory of her and a part of who she was. She loved to craft and was very giving. While simple, this sweet memory brought on a lot of emotion. How could I have forgotten that?
After these two conversations, and a couple other events, I found myself running to look at old pictures of my childhood and of my babies. I scrambled to find my life months or years ago, yearning to relive those moments buried deep in my brain. I was determined to dig out those memories. There were photos of me growing up and with my mom, including those little moments I had forgotten about. There were sweet pictures of the early days with my babies, even some moments I didn’t recall… (probably due to lack of sleep.) In light of all of these emotions, my prayer has been lately, “Oh please, Lord, keep my memory strong. Help me soak in the beautiful life you’ve given and cherish each moment, current and past. Help it all stay fresh in my brain.”
What is happening to my mind? It seems to be struggling for resources, operating on max capacity. Is it so-called “mommy brain”? I know many mamas feel this way. We all know of the so called “invisible mental load” a mom has running in her mind all of her waking moments. This is part of our working memory, the part of our brain where immediate needs are processed — the things we have first in our minds. Interestingly enough, this is the location in the brain where it’s stored, the prefrontal cortex. These duties we carry truly are front and center, they stand on top, and can often trump our deeply-engrained memories stored deep inside, both biologically in the brain and figuratively. Are we so bogged down in the day-to-day that it hinders our thoughts of days past? I feel as if my memory is drowning in the mundane tasks.
We never seem to get to take a time out, but I encourage you — all of us — to set time aside to uncover the sweet memories. Let’s take some time to reminisce with our children, our parents, other family members, and our friends. Look at the pictures and cherish the memories. Tell the stories. Laugh and cry. Dig them out of the brain and do some good for our souls.
Wishing you and yours beautiful lasting memories this holiday season!
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