Everything I Know About Motherhood, I Learned from the “Trifecta”

Everything I know about motherhood, I learned from “the trifecta” — my mom and my grandmas. I feel lucky to have come from a gene pool of women who were talented, strong, beautiful and kind. Thank you for showing me what being an awesome woman, and mom, looks like.

Mommy: The Rescuer

Everything I Know About MotherhoodGrowing up, there were four kids (and who knows how many animals) running around the house, and my mom, whom my siblings and I still call “Mommy,” always put us first. She was the glue to our family. She loved and cared for all of us, even the five hamsters, but…

I call her the rescuer, because of the way she handled the unexpected.

Forgotten lunch: she brought it. Art project due the next day: she stayed up until 2 a.m. helping. Broken-hearted teenage issues: she also stayed up until 2 a.m. helping (or, at least, made the attempt). Cue Roy Orbison, “Anything you need, you got it!” That’s my mom. Though we’re not calling her anymore over forgotten lunches, my siblings and I all know that if there’s anything we need (nowadays it’s that good ole motherly advice), she’s got it.

What it taught me:

Sacrifice is a huge part of parenting. Was it inconvenient for my mom to drop what she was doing to help her children? Yep. But, did it make us feel loved, valued and that we could trust my mom with anything? Most definitely. With my own daughter, I want her to know that I am always here for her, no matter how big or small the need.

Nana: The Nurturer

Everything I Know About MotherhoodGrandmothers earn their name from just that, being pretty darn grand mothers! When I think of my grandmother, Nana, I think of her gentle touch and her way of making everything better. Whether you wanted a big, warm hug or needed to have a good, snotty cry, you could go to Nana. Chances were that Nana would cry with you, too.

Every time we go to visit, we all sit in Nana’s kitchen and chat and eat in our pajamas until noon. We could sit on her lap (even as tall, boney teenagers) and she would wrap her arms around us and comb her fingers softly through our hair. Ah, those were the days.

What it taught me:

I want to hug my daughter, regardless of her age, and tell her I love her EVERY DAY.

I think physical touch and words of affirmation are so important, especially for kids. You can never love a child too much. (Shamelessly stealing that one from Nana herself!)

Gammie: The Dreamer

My grandmother, Gammie, wasn’t your typical grandmother. She sure didn’t want to be called grandma, either, which is why she chose her own name. Gammie was big on getting us to use our imagination. She would often buy supplies for a DIY project and had us brand what we had created and talk about our business plans.

Everything I Know About Motherhood

I recall Gammie encouraging me to write about what I wanted my life to be like when I was a grown-up.

She believed in me and thought I could do whatever I set my mind on doing.

There were plenty of scheming conversations laying on her patio chaise lounges on summer evenings.

What it taught me:

I want to push my kids to imagine and make sure they know I believe in them. I credit my creativity as an adult to Gammie because she gave me all the tools and go-get-em I needed. As a mom with a daughter who has a flair for reading and writing, I want to stimulate her the way I was growing up because I believe it’s a big part of how I think and who I am today.

So thank you, Trifecta. It really does take a village, and I’m so glad you’re mine.

Happy Mother’s Day!

 

 

 

Ryan Clem
Ryan and her husband Ryley have two daughters, a nine-year-old and a newborn baby. She's a native Wichitan and calls the east side home. Ryan works part-time as a copywriter at a marketing agency in downtown Wichita. In her sacred free time, she's probably catching up on a reality show or doodling on her iPad. Follow Ryan at @ListenMyDear on Instagram and her blog Listen My Dear.