It wasn’t a conversation I was ready to have. My kids are so young, babies really, and I thought I still had a few more years before broaching this subject. But I was abruptly brought into a new reality the day my one-year-old discovered a shotgun.
It started as a normal day, my kids and I were running a quick errand before heading to story-time at the library. As I browsed a shop for some holiday gifts, my one- and three-year-olds were enjoying the new scenery of the small store. They were surprisingly well-behaved and always an arm’s length away.
But then my daughter wandered, and before I knew it she was behind the counter. I quickly caught up with her and that’s when I saw it, a large shotgun sitting on a shelf just inches from the floor and inches from her tiny hand.
I quickly grabbed my daughter and then the employee came out of the office to ring up my purchases. As we left I was in shock. The gravity of the situation didn’t hit me right away, but when it did I was filled with anxiety and dread.
Now don’t get me wrong, I understand and respect that business owners have every right to protect their people and property. And I fully take responsibility that my child wandered to a place she wasn’t supposed to be. But still, so much could have gone wrong. The what-ifs filled my heart and mind with anxiety for weeks. What if it was my three-year-old who wandered back there? He would have tried to pick it up. What if my daughter did touch it? What if the gun went off? What if another child does the same thing and something bad happens?
When sharing the story with a friend, they replied, “Wouldn’t your son know not to touch real guns?” Um, no. My three-year-old thinks (understandably so) that guns are toys: water guns, popper guns, something a bad guy uses with superheros. We don’t own guns and have attempted to shield our children from them. I knew as they got older we’d have to explain the reality for their own safety, but again I thought I had time, they are still babies.
That’s when I realized we needed to change our approach.
I may not have been ready to handle the subject, but it was time. And really, it’s never to early to start difficult conversations with little ones. So we did.
We started talking to my three-year-old about the difference between toy guns and real guns. We discuss what to do if you ever see a real gun, to NEVER touch it and go get an adult. We’ve attempted to not make guns taboo so he isn’t overly eager if he ever finds one, because although I tried to prevent it, my son likes guns. Before the store incident, he’d make sticks and toilet paper tubes into toy guns every chance he got.
After the store incident, I realized I want him to understand the difference.
I reached out to the business about what happened, fully acknowledging my responsibility for keeping track of my children but making sure they knew how accessible the gun was, since there was nothing keeping people from getting behind the counter.
Though I never heard back, the dread I felt started to lift. If I learned anything, it’s that this is going to take constant dialogue, even if it seems too soon, to try and keep our children safe.
For more resources on starting difficult conversations with your kids, click here.
