Bathroom Equality for All

When you have a child with a disability, your entire perception of the world shifts dramatically. Yes there are the obvious barriers, everything gets tighter and seems out of reach, but there are other things – like bathrooms – that come into focus with unimaginable clarity. Accessibility is universal.

Everyone can use a wheelchair ramp, but not everyone can use the stairs.

My favorite example: disabled parking. These spots are prevalent, coveted, and often marking half of the parking lots in America. But then go inside, and we only have one handicap bathroom stall – and its usually without a changing table! Same scenario, only with my husband, who is fabulously engaging as a father. We split almost everything parenting related 50/50. So when he traveled alone with our then 12-year-old daughter to an out-of-town doctor appointment or wanted to attend a wrestling tournament at a public school, his reality was every bit as harsh.

He couldn’t take her into a restroom without fear of ridicule, so he changed her in the car! Imagine the difficulty! In fact, if you have your own 12-year-old you can try this at home:

1. Have your child sit on a dining room chair in your bathroom.

2. Pick up your son or daughter while they remain limp—thus creating dead weight, then safely place him/her on the floor.  Remember, they may not help you, other than placing their arms around your neck.

3. Re-enact changing a diaper. Keeping in mind that most tweens want to wear sweats or jeans…not easily maneuverable during a change.

4. Now pick him/her up and place back into a dining room chair.

Voila! How did you do? Parenting tip: have deodorant, powder, dry shampoo and a change of clothes ready for yourself, because this exercise is the equivalent of a 5K run.

This is a reality for too many American families in 2017. So when the debate surrounding transgender restrooms sparked controversy everywhere from Target to public schools, I couldn’t help but think, “FINALLY! Bathroom equality!”

Because here is the thing: we all want our privacy and dignity during this most intimate routine. Not everyone is raising a child in a wheelchair or is transgender, but we can all agree that none of us want to be humiliated. 

Private family restrooms allow us privacy and the ability to pull out a washable travel rug to change our loved one in a clean environment without fear of contamination or ridicule – it is also nice to let them have a stretch since the confinement of the wheelchair typically only allows for one position.

Further, if we could be so bold to suggest that those adorable Koala changing tables be re-engineered to support an adult, or into a simple hip height countertop, it might make the budget a little tighter, but it would benefit everyone, not just the babies who didn’t get front row parking.

Rachel Banning
Originally from the Wichita area, Rachel’s greatest adventure began 20 years ago when she married her husband. Together, they have one living child with Asperger’s (Dylan, ‘03) and one heavenly daughter with cerebral palsy (Mia, 2000-2013). She is a homeschool mom and business owner. Rachel is an unapologetic advocate for children of all abilities, a bookworm, and she will find any excuse to use her Kitchen Aid and wear Junior League red.

1 COMMENT

  1. Look up Changing Places. They have been successful at getting many places (including a few Asda – owned by Walmart – locations) over in the UK to put in family restrooms with adult changing tables and hoists. I wish something like that existed here.

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