“The past, like the future, is indefinite and exists only as a spectrum of possibilities.” -Stephen Hawking
When I was young my family moved frequently, if not to a new city a different house in the same city. However, as an adult I have moved less. I went to college at Wichita State in 1999, married a Wichita,n and 18 years and 2 kids later…well, Wichita is home!
Until an unsuspecting job offer made us question everything.
The Short Story
My husband is an electrical engineer and was contacted by a past colleague about an appealing job offer within my husband’s wheelhouse. The company was having difficulty filling the position, because, as I was soon to learn, Austin is a super tech-y place…looking for lots of tech-y guys like my husband. Over a 10 week process my husband had a phone interview, in-person interviewed, and despite reassuring feedback he ultimately did not get the job. But for 10 weeks we prepared our minds and hearts that we were moving.
The long story consists of several variables and quick decisions. However there was a moment we looked at each other and said YES! “Yes, I will do this with you! I will move! There are so many unknowns but as long as I’m with you, it will be okay. I can envision the plan!
Once I accepted the idea of moving, and started to absorb the gravity of the decision, a deep wave of sadness and anxiety set in. With a small business and family close there were so many variables to consider. I want the best for my family while achieving my personal and professional goals, while also allowing space for my husband’s dreams and goals. What part of me wants to be brave and courageous verses practical and safe? How were we going to negotiate this in our marriage? What kind of amazing nursing careers can I pursue in Austin?
The career discussions with my smart, talented, and supportive husbands were hard! Why am I feeling my career always comes second to my husbands or the family, whether real or perceived? How will I negotiate this as a mother, wife, and woman?
Then the Moment
There was a moment in the process where my anxiety peaked and both relief and disappointment existed either way it went.
Stay in Wichita – Awesome! Cool friends, family close, double down on my business, Shocker basketball, Wichita Moms Blog, no traffic, more affordable housing, comfortable, less change.
Move to Austin– Also Awesome! Amazing city (per many hours of internet searching), fresh career start (per many hours on Career Builder), amazing adventures, life altering move, leap of faith, best time in life to do it, the kids are young, be brave, chase your dreams.
I felt overwhelmed with the gravity of the decision, which was in someone else’s hands. With some hindsight I am grateful it happened when it did. During this 10 weeks we took a long planned vacation to Disney and celebrated Thanksgiving and Christmas. I now can see the benefits of this “crazy trust exercise.”
“Family is the most important thing in the world.” -Princess Diana
It’s true, I love being a family of 4. My most cherished memories are the simple things in life, just the 4 of us. A nice walk around the lake on a windy Kansas day, playing with the marble rally, or eating dinner together.
“I dwell in possibility.” -Emily Dickinson
Framing each of the options as positive choice in my head highlighted all of the unknown benefits verses unknown consequences, this helped decrease worry and anxiety. People and families move all the time. In fact approximately 3,000+ people move to the Austin Area every month all for the possibilities.
“Ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board.” -Zora Neale Hurston
Each day is a gift, each moment is an opportunity. There is so much to love with where we are at. With the right framing and approach there is so much beauty and opportunity here in Wichita. Had Austin chosen us, who knows where our path would lead.
Sometimes there’s just a twinge of disappointment when I think of the missed opportunity. The new adventure in life would have been challenging and invigorating. But now I know we are staying in my sweet hidden treasure of a windy city…I look forward to making the most of it with my family!
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