Giving My Husband More Grace

We all have our moments.  Those moments when we are irritated, frustrated and the worst version of ourselves.  The wonderful thing about motherhood is that for some reason we can practice patience with our children.  No matter how terrible the tantrum, yelling or chaos, we find the grace to love our children. giving my husband more grace

I still think he’s cute.

I was rocking my son to sleep the other night thinking about our future together.  I was going through the years in my mind and how fun they will be (does anyone else do this?). I got to the Graduate from College and Get Married part, and I paused to think for a moment about the woman I want my son to marry.  I wondered if she has been born yet or what her mother was doing right now.  But more than anything, I realized that the future daughter-in-law I envisioned isn’t always the woman I am to my husband. I imagined a wife that would love my son as fiercely as I do – and would give him as much grace as I do, too.

I used to be much better at giving my husband grace.  Once our son came along and the parenthood exhaustion set in, it became much more challenging.  In the process of dirty diapers and attempting to merge parenting styles, it is so easy for frustration to get the best of you. It is easier to deny grace, than it is to give. As I worked through how to take the high road and say the nice thing versus the spiteful thing, I realized that grace is a choice.  We have to choose grace.  I choose grace with my son because it is easy.  He is young and doesn’t know any better.  I have to consciously make a decision to give my husband the benefit of grace. I started a journey of grace giving and learned a few helpful things on the way.

Focus on the good. Life is hard.  Really hard at times. Wake up and choose positivity. Your family will thank you. A positive mom can turn any family situation into something better.

Remember the things your significant other does for you. It is too easy to forget how much my husband helps me in the craziness of parenthood. He works his tail off for our family and helps me in so many ways. Like how he lets me sleep in on the weekends, even though it means he never gets to sleep in. Ever.

Compliment each other. This is such an easy thing that is too simple to forget in a relationship, particularly once kids are in the picture. Something as simple as “thank you for getting our son ready” or “you look nice today” can change the entire dynamic for the day. I have focused on this and it has made such a huge difference in our happiness.

Try to find balance. This one is tough with children. I recently left a job that I loved to try this stay-at-home mom thing.  Sure, I did it for my son, but more than anything, I did it for my marriage. We had zero balance. We were both going a million miles per minute in different directions and miserable. The simplest household tasks were not being accomplished and it was wearing us both down. It is extremely challenging to practice grace in this situation. If this paragraph describes your family, make a change. I promise you won’t regret it.

The more grace you give, the more grace you receive.  None of us are perfect significant others, wives or mothers. I found that the more I complimented and chose grace with my husband, the more he did the same for me. Double win.

Story time with Dad. One of his favorites.