Being a working mom is TOUGH. But being a working mom at a job you hate is physically and emotionally taxing beyond belief.
“Hate” is a strong word and not one I use often. But sometimes it’s the only word to accurately describe an emotion. I realize that most people have said they hate their job at some point, but I’m not talking about “my coworkers annoy me” or “I get tired of all the paperwork.” We all have things about our jobs we dislike. I’m talking about true hate...
- A constant sense of stress and anxiety brought on because of your job.
- A feeling that you can’t fully escape, even when you’re not at the office.
- A situation that changes who you are, and not for the better.
I was there: a new mom at a job I hated. Every day growing more bitter. Brokenhearted because my time was spent at an unrewarding job rather than with my son.
The circumstances surrounding why I hated my job aren’t important; what is important is how I made it through the difficult situation and became a stronger person as a result.
One of the hardest things about this tough time was that I felt completely alone – I had no one to talk to who could relate! I would often vent to my husband, and he would listen, but he didn’t fully understand. He chalked it up to the “baby blues,” but I knew it was something more. I couldn’t reach out to my mom-friends because most of them were either at a job they enjoyed or had the option to stay home. I had neither.
Whenever I did open up, I would either be told “that sucks” or get the unhelpful advice to “just quit” or “find another job.” If only it was that easy! Obviously the ultimate goal was to get out of my destructive situation, but that takes time and a lot of planning. As much as I wanted to throw my hands up and walk away, I had certain responsibilities that took precedence.
I spent many hours plugging numbers into a calculator trying to figure out a way to make things work financially without my income. Or at least determining how much of a pay cut we could endure if I switched jobs. I reached out to fellow classmates to see if they knew of any job openings. I even thought about switching fields entirely, which in retrospect is a bit extreme given all the schooling and specialized training I went through to get where I am professionally. But there were days I was so desperate to get out that I wasn’t thinking clearly and was willing to go to the extreme.
Fortunately I am no longer in this situation, and now have a job I love. If you are going through a similar situation, please know that you are not alone, and things will get better. In the meantime, maybe you’ll find some of the lessons I learned helpful!
How to Cope When You Hate Your Job:
- Remember that your current situation is only temporary. There will come a day when you won’t have to deal with the job you hate. When that day will come is anybody’s guess, but it will come, nonetheless. I always experienced a momentary sigh of relief every time I thought about my future without the job I hated.
- Focus on the positive. When I was in the middle of a pity-party, I would remind myself how lucky I truly am. I have a wonderful husband, a HEALTHY son, amazing parents and in-laws, the ability to provide for my family, etc. After I thought about all those things, I would snap out of my bad mood. Take time each day to recall everything you’re thankful for.
- Be patient. Patience is easier said than done when you’re miserable. There were moments when I felt absolutely hopeless and would get angry that nothing was happening. I had to remind myself to be patient and that good things will come in due time. And they did!
- Use this time for soul searching. Think about your dream job and how to get where you want to be. Start networking. Find someone who has your ideal job and ask them questions about how they got started. Now is the perfect time to analyze why you are unhappy at your current job and what you want to change. Life is too short to not do what you love.
- Pray. I spent many hours praying. Praying for patience. Praying for a new opportunity. Praying for guidance. Whatever you believe, there are times when you need to turn over your problems to a higher power. Now is certainly one of those times. I truly believe that God has a plan for us all. He did for me. I am a stronger person as a result of going through this hardship. I am much more thankful and appreciative in every day life. I no longer sweat the small stuff, which ultimately makes me a better wife, employee, and mother.