I recently transitioned my toddler from his crib (that he loved) into a toddler bed. Let me tell you, folks, I’m pretty sure I did it all wrong! If you too are looking to over-complicate the process, and possibly even traumatize your child for life–read on!
1. While your toddler is still in his crib, start talking up the move to a “Big Boy Bed!”
2. Set up the toddler bed in his room to allow him to get used to the idea before has to make the actual move.
3. Let him try the toddler bed out for a few minutes and then move back to the crib. He will let you know when he’s ready! After all, toddlers are fantastic decision-makers.
4. Repeat Step 3 for approximately two months. Don’t forget to stop and wonder what the hell you’re doing with your life around week six.
5. Pick a date upon which you will definitely move his crib out of his room, just in case he has not made the mature decision to move himself by then.
6. Let that date come and go (probably also admitting to yourself that, on some level, you kind of like your “baby” in his crib).
7. Eventually, just take the crib out of his room. Rip off the Band-Aid!
8. Comfort toddler’s sobbing by explaining that he’s a big boy and doesn’t need a crib.
9. Resist the urge to set the crib back up after hours of sobbing and pleading for the crib by toddler.
10. Yes, the pack-and-play counts.
11. After a few days have passed, take it as a good sign that toddler didn’t whine for his crib at bedtime.
12. Toddler is excited! He realizes he is a big boy and doesn’t need a crib! Delight with him and share in his joy on this glorious day.
13. An hour later, try to remind yourself that you’re glad he is finally happy about the bed.
14. Tell him for the eleventh time to quit playing with toys and GO TO SLEEP.
15. Two hours later, resist the urge to set the crib back up.
16. Yes, the pack-and-play counts. Go tell him to get back in bed.
17. Explain that No, he is also not getting a hug or drink of water because Mommy is on the verge of losing it.
18. Try to pretend you don’t hear him playing with toys or reading himself a book. He’ll wear himself out eventually, right?
19. Pour yourself a glass or two of mommy juice (ahem, that’s WINE).
20. Go check on toddler and discover that he has fallen asleep in the most ADORABLE way ever. Has any child ever looked so cute while sleeping?
21. Repeat Steps 14-20 for approximately . . . hold on.
“GET BACK IN YOUR BED!”