Parenting Lessons from a Teacher Point of View

Having been a teacher for three years and a parent for two and a half, I clearly have learned all there is to know about parenting.

Did anyone out there actually believe that statement?

I hope not because yesterday involved a meltdown (on my part) because I didn’t feel like I was being a good parent. Ugh. For real, not my best moment.

However, I do feel like I have picked up a few techniques after teaching high school seniors for a few years. There are certain things I have noticed that help make students successful in and out of the classroom. Some are helpful to implement now with my two-year-old, and some I will work on as she gets older.

1. READING!  Hopefully everyone knows this one. But reading with your small children will make a huge difference in developing your kiddo’s language (speaking and writing).  I read recently that reading aloud to your kiddo remains important through the grade school years. Even after my kid can read, it is still important for him or her to be read to. The effects of reading with your kids is so evident, even with high school kids.

In my classroom, the kids who do best are the ones whose parents read to them as young children – a lot.

2. A little politeness and a little respect go a LONG way!  The students who enjoy school are the ones who walk in the classroom on the first day with a polite and respectful attitude. It seems to be a myth among my students that “Respect must be earned.” In theory, because I am an adult in the classroom, I have already done the work to earn respect. In my class, we try to operate on “start with respect (for everyone), until they lose it” policy. However, this politeness and respect is a life-long endeavor and, my friends, it begins early. We are discovering while our girl fights us every step of the way, she is usually respectful and polite. But in the end, I hope the work we put in early training our kiddos will pay off when their default, even around their crazy peers, is polite respect.

In my classroom, the kids who do best are the ones who say “please” and “thank you” – and a little “yes, ma’am” never hurt anyone.

3. Set high expectations. Now this one, could be heavily debated. But I still want to put it out there. I am not suggesting that parents should demand outrageous success from their kids. Expecting that my kid will be the first to break a 3-minute mile or be a doctoral candidate at age 17 will only produce stress and anxiety for all of us. But what I am suggesting is, I can expect my kids to work for what they want.

For example: Every time I assign something to read (a book, an article, a poem), there are always many kids (like half the class) who are like, “Seriously? You want us to read something in a senior high school Literature class?” Umm, duh.

In my classroom, the kids who do best are the ones who expect to do work and work hard in order to learn and be successful

4. Boundaries! I want to teach my girl to recognize boundaries. While a lack of boundaries have provided some of my funniest teacher stories, boundaries are important to understand.

Favorite story: I was about 7 months pregnant with our first kiddo and one of my students said, “Mrs. Frasier, do white women get stretch marks?” I replied, “Oh…umm…well, yes, of course.” And she proceeded to ask if she
could see them. Right there in class.

So, I will teach my kids boundaries, and not just about what should be asked in the middle of class. As teachers and counselors, we see students acting out just to receive a “no” due to a lack of limits in other parts of their lives. I want my kids to hear “no” regularly. Clearly that happens a lot now, but even 15 years from now, my two-year old will still need to hear “no” sometimes, right?

In my classroom, the students who do best are the ones who have and understand boundaries in their lives

5. Experience variety. I want to give my kids a variety of experiences in their lives. This doesn’t mean I am going to take my kiddos to Europe, heaven knows I didn’t go to Europe even though I probably asked a million times. It does mean I want them to play sports, learn music, speak another language, go to the ballet, experience other cultures. I want them to know how other people live life. It seems that kids who experience the world around them have more developed creative thinking and problem solving skills as well as ability to accept the differences between them and the other students in their class. While this sounds like an expensive endeavor, I am not suggesting that millions of dollars are needed. There are tons of experiences right here in Wichita – the Wichita Art Museum, cultural festivals, free Jazz Thursday nights in the summer, classes at the Y, picking fruit or veggies at a local farm.You name it we have it.

In my classroom, students who do best are the ones who have a variety of experiences.