I am exceptionally grateful for family dinners. I even get teary-eyed during grace sometimes when I think about how blessed I am. But then almost immediately, I am tested on the authenticity of my genuine gratitude when I open my eyes, lift my head and see our son plowing into his dinner with gusto, but without a fork, and his napkin untouched by his plate. In that moment, I realize why my amazing mother always sat next to the youngest child during dinner…so she didn’t lose her appetite while she taught us proper etiquette. Bless her heart.
Manners matter. All the time.
We live in a world where there is very little value put on politeness, etiquette, and proper manners. However, to me, they are priceless. Manners often dictate my genuine willingness to tolerate others who I may not necessarily look forward to being around. I’m quick to defend the Eddie Haskells of the world because the Eddie Haskells are polite, although often in desperate need of attention. That doesn’t bother me, though. I love giving it to them because Eddie Haskells have manners.
But how can we teach kids proper table manners?
Here is an easy and fun “manners game” we began playing at dinner when our son was 4 or 5 years old to help guide him to proper table etiquette. TRUTH: I sometimes bring this game back to our table as he grows into young adulthood.
Objective: Collect as many M&Ms, while keeping your own.
Rules: Each family member begins dinner with 5 M&Ms (they are not allowed to eat until the table is cleared). If you observe someone not minding their manners (chewing with their mouth open, talking with food in their mouth, licking their fingers, elbows on the table or using their fingers, napkin not in lap, etc.) you may take one of their M&Ms – but if someone observes you not using your manners, they can take one of your M&Ms.
Bonus Round: Our son with social deficits was offered additional candy if he asked socially appropriate and meaningful questions in variation and correct context.
Try making your family’s own version!