Fashion Friday :: How Giving Our Daughter a Bit of Control Changed Our Lives

FullSizeRender-5The opinions about what outfit she wanted to wear started early. The more Sparkle-Pink-Glitter-Twirly the better. That was all well and good, until we needed to go to an event where I wanted her attire to look more put together than what a typical two-year-old would have picked out (told you it started early).

As a lover of all things clothes & accessories myself, I felt her pain. Sometimes you just need to express yourself and in her mind, who was I to stifle that creativity? Rude. Except, she didn’t put it that eloquently. No, she let me know her dislike of my control over her wardrobe choices like most toddlers who have a flair for the dramatic: a good old-fashioned battle of the wills.

It was after one of these morning skirmishes that I had an epiphany. What if I were to give her a day? One entire day where she could pick everything. Don’t want to brush your hair this morning? Sure, no problem. Rain boots, tutu, and a play tee-shirt? Go for it, girl. Seventeen bows of all different colors, shapes and sizes plastered to your head as if you walked through a spiderweb made of bows where instead of silky strings, 2-4 inch ribbons stuck haphazardly to your head? You look beautiful, darling.

Of course there have to be some restrictions (I am the mama after all):

  1. It has to be weather appropriate (Sorry honey, a tank dress in December won’t work. Throw a shirt under it though and you are in business!)
  2. It has to be appropriate appropriate (Um, that is a shirt. In no way shape or form could that be considered a dress. Please put on some sort of lower covering mmmmmk? Thanks.)
  3. Your day is Friday and only Friday. Mama chooses everything all the other days. Throw a fit about that & potentially lose your privilege. (“Today is Tuesday. Let’s sing our ‘Days of the Week’ song and count how many days until it’s your day.” is something we heard a lot.)

Rules in place, we excitedly began our adventure into the unknown (otherwise known as “I let my preschooler dress herself.”). For the first few weeks she picked the same sparkle-pink dress every time. It got to a point where I was trying to decide how to pre-emptively solve the issue that would most assuredly present itself once said favorite dress no longer fit. Cue all the drama.

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But something pretty amazing happened. As the weeks went on, her confidence in her choices grew. She no longer went to the same sparkly dress each time. Instead, she started experimenting with different combinations of tops + bottoms (as long as they all had what she calls “twirl-ability”). I could see she was developing a sense of pride and ownership of the look she put together, and as a mama that was really neat to see!

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We have been fully committed to Fashion Friday in our household now for about six months and since we began, gone are the morning battles. In fact, I can’t remember the last time she even rolled her eyes at something I laid out for her to wear. Not kidding. Not only has allowing our daughter control over her wardrobe choices one day each week made our mornings run much smoother, the added bonus of seeing her confidence soar through the simple act of having authority over the clothes she places on her body has been an unexpected gift.

Even when Fashion Friday happens to fall on the first day of Preschool.

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Take it all in, folks. Take it all in.

 

lindseylitzner
Lindsey is thrilled to be back home in Kansas. She grew up across from a cornfield in a little town just North of Wichita, met her husband in High School and their young love carried them through college. The two married after graduation & began the adventure of Medical School, Residency, and Fellowship that took them to 3 states (um, 7 moves!) in 10 years. During that time, Lindsey taught first grade until she had the first of two children and began her role as a stay-at-home mama. Recently, she turned her love of fashion & design into a consulting business. Lindsey credits her role as owner of Huck & Leni Personal / Interior Styling as allowing her to be true to herself as a woman & as a mama. She admits the balance is sometimes tricky, but hey...that's why there's coffee, right?