An Ode to the Suburban

An Ode to the Suburban

We have all seen the “Ode to Minivan” posts, which sing the praises of sliding doors and twenty cup holders. While I get the minivan appeal, nothing compares to the space and truck feel of a Suburban for me. So, for the Suburban-loving mamas out there, I give you An Ode to the Suburban (or the Yukon XL or even the Cadillac Escalade ESV, for those REALLY lucky moms out there).

  • Thank you, dear Suburban, for keeping Quik Trip open. 12 mpg doesn’t hurt nearly so badly when there are .89 Big Q drinks to ease the pain.
  • Thank you, Suburban, for running well beyond 100,000 miles because the cost to replace you is roughly the same as a HOUSE.
  • Thank you, Suburban, for keeping my children so well separated. Your third row is better than any time out.
  • Thank you, Suburban, for letting me take ALL the things everywhere I need to go. Double jogging stroller, baseball gear, and a week’s worth of groceries? No problem. I don’t even have to leave a kid home so I can fold down the third row, it all fits nicely in the cargo area.
  • Thank you, Suburban, for making me feel like I am driving my babies around safely in an armored tank. DON’T MESS WITH THIS MAMA ON THE ROAD!
  • Thank you for allowing me to have the biggest and baddest backseat full of blankets at the drive-in.
  • Thank you for the option to tow a boat or camper, although we both know I’ll probably never tow anything more than a jacket caught in a door.
  • Thank you for allowing me to off-road it to find the BEST fireworks-watching spot during Riverfest. (Special shout out to the Z71 package!)
  • Thank you for amply holding any ridiculous car seat I talk myself into buying. Because, you know, the armored-tank feeling isn’t enough to keep me away from safe cell side impact protection.
  • Thank you for allowing me to always say, “Sure, there is room for a friend!” And if the friend needs to bring along a cooler of drinks or a bag full of catcher’s gear, there is room for that too.
  • Thank you for incorporating family-friendly features like DVD players and cordless headphones. Many a family road trip has been saved because of your thoughtfulness.
  • And, of course, thank you dear Suburban for making me feel like I haven’t completely given up my identity as being anything other than a mom. Is it a politician? Is it a celebrity? Is it a mom with 5 kids? You may never know. (At least until you glance in and see car seats, backpacks, baseball gear, and Goldfish wreckage.)

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