“Why are you adopting?”
I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve been asked this question.
My husband and I have 4 biological children, and yes, we are in the process of adopting a 5th child. When people find out, they always ask, “Why?” At first, I tried answering them logically, so that maybe I could convince them that what we were doing was “right.” I wanted them to understand and for them to agree with us that this was the right thing for us to do. For some odd reason, I needed their “permission.”
But now, I just say,”Why not?!”
My husband and I each only had one sibling. We loved it! But, when we got married, we knew right away we wanted a large family. We can’t explain it; it’s not a religious conviction or a cultural thing. It’s just something we both feel strongly about, and we are blessed to be able to pursue this dream. Our 4 biological children are 17, 15, 13 and 8. All were planned, and we even have 2 boys and 2 girls. They are healthy, “normal” kids who we love to watch grow into kind human beings. But our desire for more kids is still there!
Even though my husband and I are in our 40’s, we COULD have another biological child, but we really don’t want to go through the “baby” phase another time. Oh, they are fun and I LOVE the baby snuggles, but we have chosen to adopt a child that is between 4-8 years old.
For us, adopting from another country wasn’t something we ever thought about doing. And since we don’t want to adopt a baby, the Foster Care System was the way to go. So, in January, I started inquiring about what that process looked like. Boy, I got educated! After several months of classes, a Home Study ( hours of questions), and even some doctor visits (for pets and humans alike), we are on the road to finding that child who was meant to be in our family!
It’s a long process that takes patience, open mindedness and lots of paperwork!
Adopting through the foster care system brings its own set of question, like, “Oh, won’t that be hard?” or “Do you know what you are getting yourselves into?” or “Those kids have some serious problems.” The answer to all those questions is “Yes!” It will be hard. We do know (as well as any parent) what we are getting ourselves into. We do know those kids have been through a lot and will have some problems. But I turn it around and say “We not only get to add to our family, we get to impact a child so profoundly, it makes me think….why not adopt?!”
Adopting is not easy. It’s not quick. There’s not a definite outcome. It is long and tedious. You will learn things about the system and yourself (and your spouse) that you wouldn’t learn otherwise.
But it’s worth it!