Frequently we are asked if we have contact with our daughters’ biological families. When we explain the open status of London’s adoption, common responses are “That must be hard!” or “I don’t know if I could do that!” Although it would have been difficult to anticipate the closeness we have, this relationship has grown and flourished over the years. We are profoundly grateful for our relationship with London’s First Family. I’m honored to collaborated with her biological mother, Platinum, on this post, and we would like to dedicate this to our daughter, London – your moms love you very much!
“I give the most strength to my children by being willing to look within myself, and by being honest with them about what I find there, without expecting a response beyond their years. In this way they begin to look beyond their own fears.” -Audre Lorde
How did you choose adoption?
Megan: As the result of childhood cancer, we were unable to carry our pregnancies to term. We had discussed desiring a family early in our relationship. While our path to parenthood has been difficult, our adoption journeys have been life -hanging experiences. I now realize if I had never lost my two babies, I would have never met my girls, and I cannot imaging not meeting them.
Platinum: It was a difficult decision! I chose adoption NOT because my daughter wasn’t wanted but because a new child would have drawn resources away from my existing children, whom I love deeply. I wanted to carry the pregnancy, and I wanted to do what was best for my baby.
What was it like meeting each other for the first time?
Megan: We met on the phone for the first time. The conversation went perfect, we just smiled. Our plans were to wait for 24 hours and sleep on the conversation and decision. But as with matters of the heart we knew immediately and called the agency back shortly after hanging up. We planned a meeting about 3 weeks after we matched. My husband and I drove to Nebraska and pick up Platinum and her two children for lunch. Despite moments of breathlessness, I remember an immediate connection feeling she was the one.
Platinum: We first met through an adoption agency. I received multiple packets and read each one over several times. On our first phone call we laughed and shared our thoughts on a variety of topics. I planned meeting with Meg and Dave in 3 weeks. They drove to meet me and my two children for lunch. I was a nervous wreck! Would they like me? My impression on them meant a lot! I can remember how kind and caring they both were, towards me and my kids. My older daughter fell in love with Meg right away confirming I was making a good decision.
How did you know she was the one?
Platinum: I knew Megan and David were “the ones” from day one! I carried their packet around everywhere. From their trials and tribulations, I knew they desired what I had already been able to experience. In their portfolio, they had a picture from their wedding, in their gown and tux…in a bouncy house! I could see the love, I thought “they are kids at heart” which mattered to me.
Megan: I knew she was the one when she chose me. We were matched at 27 weeks and the relationship required time to developed and mature. Each of us needed and provided reassurance for the other at different moments in the adoption experience. Neither of us wavered in our decisions prior to delivery. Full reassurance in the relationship was provided when Platinum boldly and bravely put her trust in me giving me the gift of motherhood!
What do you want your daughter to know about her biological mother?
Platinum: I’d like to let her know she is truly loved. That my decision for adoption was not because she was not wanted! But, because I knew that there was a family who desired so deeply to be parents. I knew with an open adoption I could watch you grow into a beautiful lady and watch Meg and Dave bloom into the amazing parents they are.
Megan: How much I admire and love Platinum. I want London to know decisions related to the situation were not made lightly, but with a selflessness that will forever ache her mom soul. She is a strong beautiful woman and I will forever benefit from the gifts and lessons she has offered!
Your first mother loves you very much and so do I!